tales of training…

IMG_8218 We have never pushed my 2 1/2 year old daughter into her milestones…we give her all the necessary tools, try to help her along, but sort of just let them occur on their own. That’s how they all have happened, on their own. I guess I sort of expected potty training to be the same way {i can already hear the smirks!}. We got her a fun girly little potty insert for Christmas to transform the toilet into her own little princess potty. Now, when I say Christmas, I mean last Christmas…yes, December 2008. We sat her on it, read her books on it, sang songs on it, even painted her nails on it! We have watched movies and read a bajillion potty books. She occasionally uses it, mostly when we “catch her in the act”, you know, hiding under her art table her face turning several shades of red. Sometimes we just ask her if she wants to sit on the potty, mostly her response is “no”, but we sit on it anyway, in hopes that something will happen and she will start to connect the dots. Now, she’s a smart girl. She will potty in her diaper and then bring me a clean one…so I know she is aware of what is going on and if she can bring me a diaper after she’s taken care of business, I think she should be perfectly capable of telling me before she needs to go. I know a lot of times she doesn’t want to stop playing to go to the bathroom, which I think is a pretty normal toddler response, but I am just sort of wondering what step to take next. We have tried the panties for a day, taking her potty every 15 minutes. She usually went after we sat on the potty and then I was cleaning up messes all day long. She really doesn’t mind her diaper being wet, or panties for that matter. Doesn’t bother her much. I have even stooped to bribery; with candy, princess panties, special prizes, stickers, even lip gloss! {right now we have a pez bear, which we call “the potty bear” and when she goes she gets three pez candies out of it.} We clap, cheer, tell her how proud of her we are, all that when she potties. What are we doing wrong? I have come to realize that this is not a milestone that is just going to “happen.” I think mommy and daddy are really going to have to work for this one! I would love any advice, tips, funny stories, whatever you can give me to get this girl going on the potty…really, I will try almost anything!!!


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  1. Andrea said...

    my girl was terrified after she first pooped in her potty and refused to do it again. she was SCARED!! i finally resorted to putting down a towel in the living room, sitting the potty in front of the tv and letting her watch tv (a rarity at that age for her) if she sat on the potty. then she had a "treasure box" full of little plastic animals to choose from as a reward.

  2. The Allen Family said...

    I know there are great stories and ideas of what worked for people, but for me really it was to not push. It did just kind of happen on it's own for my 2 sons. They didn't really show much interest until they were 3 though, but that was fine with me. They are boys after all. ;) My friend's son was potty training at 2 because the mom wanted him to (and I was definitely jealous) and he did great at going pee but did not go poo on the toilet until after he was 5! It was a long and terrible battle. I say give her more time. 2 1/2 may seem old enough, but she's still young. She may surprise you one day and talk about wanting to try. If she's not excited to try it yet, she just may not be ready. But that's just what worked for me.

  3. Erica912 said...

    My son was three and a half when he finally potty trained and just like your daughter, he knew but he really didnt care and I think the main reason he decided to give up diapers was because he wanted to and we were offering him some pretty cool rewards which thank god only lasted about a week - he is/was in love with transformers and my hubby found trading cards with them and that was it! He literally got up the day after we got the cards, wore underwear and never had a single accident.

    There is so much advice out there to mull through... I wish you luck and hope she catches on soon, I know the diapers are no fun, Id be happy if my 1 y/o would potty train tomorrow too!

  4. Star Shadow said...

    I had the hardest time training my son, who is now 4.

    I read in a book, that you should try this:

    Get one of those dolls that pees and make it your daughters responsibility to put her on the potty...then have her encourage or discipline the doll, after the doll goes...ask if she has to go ..if not do the doll step again.. putting on potty encouraging.. etc.. then ask again if she needs to go potty have her try like the doll to sit on the potty and pee..if she tries encourage and tell her how much of a big girl she is etc etc.. keep doing this for 24 hours and its suppose to work.

    Best of luck, I wish you well!

  5. Christa said...

    Contrary to hall rumor (that's a quote from a movie), this is a milestone that "just happens." I'd like to start by saying potty training my first daughter was the worst experience in my life, it was the first time I wanted to physically hurt her...I'm just being honest. I'm "potty training" my second daughter right now and I'm taking a totally different approach. With my first I figured, she's 2.5 she's a girl, she can be potty trained right now. I started with pull ups which I thought were the worst invention (I feel differently now). Then I went to panties for two weeks strait. Yes, there was poop and pee clean up (I know now to buy $1 underwear and just throw it away) and a lot of anger and hear ache. She understood the pee and poop but she still needed me to help her...I made her do it on her own once and from then on she got it. The end...I'm serious, I was on the phone and I told her to do it herself and she did and that was the end of it...I was extremely lucky.
    My second daughter is a giant stubborn turd. I tried when she was 2.5...she could care less. She'd stay in a poopy diaper for hours...without me even knowing it! I used pull ups with her, which came in handy because sometimes she would ask to go and it made it so easy and other times she's poop and pee and then I could just change her like a diaper. I kept her in pull ups for about a month, just to get use to it...then it got too expensive. Right now she wears a diaper at night and underwear during the day...I still have to bring her to the potty (usually) and sometimes she does have accidents...yesterday there were NO accidents but the day before there were two (both poo!). It really is up to the child. This is something that just happens, they decide when to care and then they want to do it. A lot of the kids in my neighborhood (grant it they are boys) literally wake up (after the age of 3 and closer to the age of 4) and just stop wearing diapers and use the toilet. Bizarre. I'm being a lot more laid back with my second daughter, I try not to pressure her. I had her back completly in diapers about a week ago and she woke up and said she only wanted to wear underwear, so when she wakes up in the morning I bring her to the potty she usually pees and I put her in undies all day. I'm doing what she wants, I going with what she's ready for. My friend across from me has a daughter the same age...she will stay in a urine soaked diaper ALL day even when it soaks through her clothes and not say a word. So she stopped trying to push her to potty train...you can't train a child to use the potty who could care less about playing in pee all day. You have to follow their lead when it comes to this. It's the only thing that will keep you sane. I hope this helps and wasn't a bunch of rambling! Potty training is by far the worst part of becoming a parents...I'd waking up every few hours with a newborn over potty training, any day!

  6. MamaBear said...

    actually, it is something that will happen when she's ready. my 2.5-year-old is stubborn as hell; she has potty-trained 4 times (mostly on her own initiative), and quit 4 times. starting at 16 months, and again last month.

    every time i catch her dry i offer potty. she's sneaky about her BMs but if i caught her doing that i'd give potty cues. but until they WANT to use the potty, there's not a damn thing you can do about a 2-year-old who's too stubborn to go.

    bribes DO work. she can't have a big-girl bed until she's out of diapers, we've told her. and i'm making her a beautiful new blankie which is her bribe to sleep in HER bed instead of tantruming until she gets in mine.

    good luck! ain't having 2-year-old a blast?

  7. hollowsins said...

    With my boys just letting them chose their own big boy underwear worked great.I tried so many things with my daughter, underwear,potty snacks(fruit snacks or gummies),I tried the potty in the living room thing,I tried the Pull-ups potty chart with stickers,praising her for going..everything.I ended up getting her a small piggy bank and paid her.I know that might sound bad but we gave her a quarter every time she went and 2 if she did pee and poop.This method had her trained in a week and no accidents ever!We kept her pull ups for the first few days and then did panties during the day..pull up at night.After a week she went to panties full time and has never stopped.This worked using the regular toilet..never worked much for the potty chair because she said the potty was for babies and she wanted the big girl toilet.She was 3 ..just turned 3 when we started this.

  8. hollowsins said...

    I forgot to add that she was told she could spend her potty money on whatever she wanted..within that first week she had enough for puzzles and coloring books.I found that taking her to the dollar store made her money go farther and she got more rewards this way!

  9. jillykat07 said...

    Well, your life sounds like ours. We have tried and tried since she was 18 months old. She is now 33 months old. She varies. Days she'll go pee and poop all day! She actually prefers to poop on the potty - then cold turkey - no interest! I ahve tried bribes, taking places, EVERYTHING! NOTHING works! I told her not to go in her pants....sooooo she did not poop or pee for over 13 hours! I freaked out! She told me she had an ow ow tummy and was afraid to go. I immediately stopped pushing. When she is ready she'll do it! :) UGH! This kid knows all her letters, can read 10 words, speaks in complete sentences, can run a computer better than 1st graders.....whatever! Frustrating!

  10. amanda said...

    oh.my.gosh. can i just say that i adore you ladies! you are so, so awesome! thank you so much for the advice, stories & experiences! {& keep them coming, please!} i just love hearing from other moms, findng out what worked for them, what didn't. you all have given me so many new nad wonderful ideas, things to try to get this girl doing her business in the potty! {@hollowsins...that money idea...genius! ava loves her piggy bank, she loves money...why didn't i think of that before?!}
    i so appreciate you all taking the time to offer up some words of wisdom and helping a girl out! this potty training thing can get frustrating & i was starting to feel bad for feeling like that. it makes me feel better to know that i am not the only one out there, you know!

  11. Renee said...

    As some of the other comments stated--it will happen when SHE is ready. Sounds like Mom and Dad are rewarding and encouraging her plenty, but it just hasn't "clicked" in her mind yet; she hasn't decided that SHE wants to use the potty yet, but she will soon! You guys just keep offering her rewards and praise, but if she ever shows resistance, back off for a few days and then try again. That's what happened with us--we rewarded and praised and gave candy and stickers and asked her every thirty minutes if she had to potty--basically she got annoyed and bucked up and refused to even look at the potty. We backed off for a few days and a miracle occurred--she decided she wanted to use the potty and get candy rewards and big girl panties, and she never looked back! She was almost three.

  12. katklaw777 said...

    I just read about this...when using a training seat on a big toilet( a child sized seat on floor is preferred) use a step stool that the child can place their feet on to push. Evidently this is necessary to help with a bowel movement. I don't have all the details, but I'm sure you can google it for more info. My daughter had a very hard time with BM's and I think this is why. Good Luck!

  13. amandanbo said...

    so, i think she is doing pretty good...of course, i feel like i'm getting "trained" not the other way around! ha! we've been at it a few days now and she has only had one accident each day {& she is sleeping in a pull up...i know she's not ready for that yet!}. overall i'm pretty satisfied with that so far. she still has a little bit of resistance when i ask her if she needs to go potty, but i saw signs of hope when she went tonight without any complaint! i think she may have been showing off for her daddy! ha! whatever, i'll take it! thank you all for your great advice and information...& if you haven't commented and have something you want to add, i'd love to hear it! i figure this is going to be a process for us, not just going to happen overnight, so anything that will keep us going in this wonderful direction is much appreciated! thanks so much!~amanda

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